CHOICES SHAPE YOUR FUTURE
By Judith Ashton
In her younger days, my mother had much to say about many things, but with age she would always come out with a proverb to back up her opinion. Proverbs teach us core wisdom, good judgement, moral behaviour and right conduct.
“A stitch in time saves nine.” “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” “A leopard doesn’t change its spots.” “An elephant never forgets.” “Make your bed in haste and repent at leisure.” “Neither a lender nor a borrower be.” “Pride comes before a fall.” “The early bird catches the worm.” “Don’t count your chickens before they are hatched.” “Better safe than sorry.”
We can all think of dozens of them, but the one that has caught my attention this week, thinking of bored teenagers during the long school holidays, is: “The devil makes work for idle hands!” There is some truth in this.
Irish children have the longest summer holidays in Europe, a legacy of Ireland’s agricultural past when young people were needed during the long summer days to work on farms, pick crops and help with the harvest. Today, however, this outdated tradition no longer fits modern life. Many parents and family members are working all day and are out of the home, leaving teens unsupervised.
How might youngsters spend their time this summer, build independence and perhaps earn some money? As the proverb reminds us, “It takes a village to raise a child”, so how can we all help our teens stay safe and out of trouble? What might we elders do, without seeming patronising, and what activities might we encourage?
Traditional societies often had wise elders who mentored young people, and there were initiation rituals for both boys and girls. These ceremonies marked the transition from childhood to adulthood, a stage that is physically and emotionally complex for adolescents. We have lost this tradition and, with it, meaningful ways to recognise and support that big milestone.
How can adults serve as positive role models while young people navigate the complexities of modern life? Without clear guidance, many struggle to find direction, feel isolated and face mental health challenges. Where parents once shaped most of a child’s outlook, many now turn to social media, which often exposes young men and women to harmful messages.
Many influencers, despite their lack of wisdom and clear direction, promote hollow ideals: unattainable beauty standards for women and toxic masculinity for young men.
Young people need wise elders as positive role models, mentors they can communicate with and who can help guide them in a realistic way to become confident, resilient adults. Giving time and attention to a young person and encouraging them to explore their talents has lifelong benefits, and research shows that such youngsters achieve better academic results and are less likely to engage in risky behaviours such as substance abuse or delinquency.
I attend Nano Physio Gym, which was set up by elite athlete Michael Bowler. Michael is an inspiration to all who know him. Last week he came across three bored teenagers who were looking for some direction during the long summer break. He invited them to visit his gym and encouraged them to help him with activities. Michael is motivating these lads, showing them a positive environment and opening their eyes to a whole new world of possibilities. With his encouragement, who knows what they could achieve?
Michael is a great role model. As an athlete, he understands discipline, team building, communication and the importance of personal achievement. The lads couldn’t wish for a better person.
Society can paint a negative picture of youngsters. Today’s world is difficult to understand, to find one’s place in and to feel relevant within. Young people have incredible energy, can be full of ideas and possess the exuberance of youth. Many youngsters can navigate technology extremely well, put it to good use and find creative ways to solve problems. They need encouragement, support and positive attention.
Effective mentoring can create a safe space for open communication, especially when it comes from an older person with life experience, sound judgement and strong moral guidance.
Mentoring an adolescent can benefit the mentor as well. Many older people have time to give and are looking for purpose and connection. Could you mentor a young person and share your life experience? Remember, “You can’t put an old head on young shoulders”, but we have a responsibility to pass on our well-earned wisdom.
www.foroige.ie supports such initiatives countrywide. Check out “Big Brother Big Sister”; giving just an hour a week can make all the difference.
Got a moment? Watch Sir Gareth Southgate’s BBC Dimbleby Lecture.
