FURTHERMORE
By Gerry Moran
I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it all along. We are not alone. The aliens are out there. Don’t take my word for it – take the word of Barack Obama, the 44th President of the United States, who, when asked are aliens real, in a ‘No Lie’ podcast with one Brian Tyler Cohen last weekend, said: “They’re real but I haven’t seen them and they’re not being kept at Area 51 (the highly classified Air Force base in the Nevada desert) There’s no underground facility unless there’s this enormous conspiracy and they hid it from the President of the United States”
So now you know – aliens are real. I was delighted to get Obama’s imprimatur on the subject because I believe in aliens. Considering the size of the Universe – more stars than all the grains of sand on all the beaches on Earth – there’s just got be some other life form other than us. I mean there simply has to be a more intelligent, more advanced, or at least less cruel and callous (think Gaza), life form than human beings in this Universe of ours.
If humans are the best God could come up – well, as I’ve said before, I am mightily unimpressed with God.
Anyway, all this alien talk reminded me of a programme I watched on TV many moons ago – the Ricki Lake Talk Show which I recorded because of my interest in extra-terrestrial life.
Ricki had a couple of children and some adults as her guests – all with an alien story of some kind or other to tell. One of the children claimed to have been abducted by aliens, while another was afraid to go outside her house for fear of being abducted. A very articulate blonde woman claimed to BE an actual alien while a 23-year-old student said she had given birth to an alien. Well her mother, a guest on the show also, was making this claim.
Wow! All that alien stuff was proving to be a lot more alien than I had anticipated – a lot more like weird really. As for the blonde, I reckoned if aliens looked even remotely like this lady – I thought we humans (in particular the male of the species) would greet them with open arms when they arrive in their flying saucers or whatever because this alien looked rather lovely. She was one hell of an advertisement for inter-galactic relationships!
Not for one minute did I think that this woman was an actual alien. When asked how she knew she was an alien she said it was because of memories she had of belonging to another civilisation, another race, not human. Hey, I know people who talk like that. But I don’t call them aliens. I call them something else entirely but I’m too polite and too politically correct to say what that is.
I have to say – I wouldn’t mind being abducted by aliens (and they are real, remember) for a few reasons: one, I’d fancy a spin around the galaxy in a flying saucer – something different for sure and definitely something to pontificate about in the pub afterwards. Also I’d like to check out if their seating arrangement is better than Ryanair’s and if their in-flight meals (that’s if they serve food, whatever it might consist of) are any better.
As it happened my two sons were in the room when I was watching the show. I turned to them and jokingly asked: “Guys, by any chance are any of you aliens?” “Da,” replied my 13-year-old, “you know that I am from Saturn.” Where, I wondered, did we get him?
PS: Hours after Obama caused a media frenzy by saying aliens are real the former US President posted a statement clarifying that he had not seen evidence of them and that he was merely trying to stick with the spirit of the interviewer’s quick-fire round of questioning.
Goddamn politicians – I sometimes wonder if they’re for real!
