FURTHERMORE
By Gerry Moran
I was quite taken aback when I first learned that Easter was more important than Christmas. How in God’s name, I wondered, could the Easter Bunny be more relevant than Santa Claus? Obvious, I guess –Easter is the most important religious festival because Jesus was born at Christmas but He rose from the dead at Easter, thereby proving that He was God.
On the topic of religion, here’s an interesting piece I came across a while back, make of it what you will, and remember I’m just the messenger.
Religious people are less intelligent than non-believers, according to scientific studies stretching back over decades. Previous studies tended to assume that intelligent people simply “know better”, but the reasons may be more complex. For instance, intelligent people are more likely to be successful in life and this may mean they “need” religion less.
One study found that, 58% of randomly selected scientists in the US expressed disbelief in the existence of God; this rose to nearly 70% for the most eminent scientists. Explanations were that religious beliefs were irrational, not anchored in science, not testable and, therefore, unappealing to intelligent people. The studies also found that intelligent people spend more time in school, get higher level jobs and higher salary which may lead to higher self-esteem providing them with the psychological benefits offered by religion.
All of which reminds me of the French philosopher Voltaire (very anti established church) who, on his death-bed, was asked by the priest: “Will you repent now and reject the devil”, to which Voltaire replied: “My good man, this is no time to be making enemies”.
Staying with religion and seeing as how holidays are on the horizon following are some psalms yours truly composed – no thanks to divine inspiration but years of travel perspiration and frustration.
Spare us, O Lord
From security checks
That leave us half-naked
And nervous wrecks
Spare us from baggage
That goes astray
To Bonn or Berlin
But not where we stay.
Spare us, O Lord
From ‘Flight Delayed’
And hanging about
Till we’re frazzled and frayed
Spare us from flights
That NEVER take off
And leave us stranded
In Leeds or Lowestoft!
Spare us, O Lord
From in-flight food
That’s totally tasteless
Chewy and crude
Spare us from flights
That run out of booze
That run into turbulence
Or worse – blow a fuse!
Spare us, O Lord
From babes on our plane,
Not some buxom blonde
Or dishy dame,
But tiny things
That holler so loud
You’d parachute out
If one was allowed.
Spare us, O Lord
From ‘neighbours from hell’
Who moan and groan
And scream and yell
Spare us from these
Dear God above
‘Cause they’re not fighting
They’re making love!
Lord spare us from wine
That’s cheerful and cheap
And leaves us hung over
For one full week
Save us from grub
Not quite cordon-bleu
That has us sprinting
To the leu!
Spare us, O Lord
From cultural stuff:
Galleries, museums
And guides full of guff.
Spare us from castles
Ancient tombs roundabout
To be honest, Lord
They wear me out.
And help us, Lord
To find a good pub
That shows the Big Match
And serves decent grub
Where there’s bonhomie, craic
And banter toujours
Do that for us, Lord
And all the rest we’ll endure!
PS Oh, and save us, Lord
From Trump and his ‘bots’
Who could well invade
Our tourist spots
For sun tan oil
With braggadocio
Leaving us, Lord,
With nowhere to go!
