CHOICES SHAPE YOUR FUTURE
By Judith Ashton
The festive season is nigh and it’s a sad fact that violence against women is a serious feature of Irish society. For many women, home is not safe. During lockdown, countless women and children were stuck in houses with bullies and domestic violence soared.
The statistics for Women’s Aid and Rape Crisis Centres, show that this issue is all too familiar for many Irish families, with up to 35% of women directly affected by physical, sexual or psychological violence from a current or former intimate partner.
A shocking 65,000 domestic abuse incidents were reported in 2024 and it’s reported that 25% of women in Ireland have experienced sexual violence as an adult. You might need to take a breath here! Yes, these are real facts according to The CSO Sexual Violence survey of 2023.
In 2024 Women’s Aid Helpline received 24,396 calls.
Between 1996 and now, approximately 290 women have died violently with 97% killed by a male known to them. 63% in their own home.
Even if a relationship ends 33% of women continue to be harassed by former partners.
Despite the increase of reported incidents, under reporting is prevalent. According to The Dublin Rape Crisis Centre 71% of victims did not report incidents due to fear, shame, or lack of trust in the judiciary.
Since 2019 coercive control is a crime. This is when there’s a constant pattern of controlling and threatening behaviour towards a partner who then becomes fearful and obedient. It may include physical or sexual violence and can lead to up to 5 years in prison. Well done to brave, local MEP Kathleen Funchion when she spoke out against her former partner Sean Tyrell who was jailed for such behaviour. Three cheers Kathleen!
‘Rough sex’ is a term used for consensual sexual activity. It may be consensual in that a partner agrees to something, but do they really know the implications? I think not.
Non-fatal strangulation /sexual choking is a criminal offence. It is so widespread that it has been normalised by many people. 35% of 16 – 34 yr olds reported being strangled by a partner during sex. Many studies show that women who have been subjected to this can have serious brain changes due to lack of oxygen, can suffer from brain fog, eye problems, depression and in some cases, death. It’s now considered a very serious form of sexual violence and often shows no marks on the body.
All these shocking aberrations come directly from the porn industry.
Many women are trafficked and coerced into making porn, much of which is violent. It’s beyond shocking and we all know that many teens get their sexual education from online porn sites, The UK is about to criminalise the depiction of choking in pornography.
These actions are happening around us and many women are terrified behind closed doors.
What can we do as friends and neighbours if we suspect domestic violence? Have we heard arguments or noises? As neighbours we might think, “I don’t want to get involved. It’s not my business.” Please, if you suspect something, do something!!! Because if you don’t you may find an ambulance in your locality and it may be too late. In communities we need to look out for one another.
Violent crimes against women need to be taken seriously.
A recent survey by The Council of Europe says domestic violence is the major cause of death and disability for women aged between 16 and 44, and accounts for more death and ill health than cancer or road traffic accidents.
Domestic violence is a massive topic. We all need to talk about it and more action needs to be taken for the effective protection of mothers, sisters, nieces, daughters, grandmothers, aunts and friends.
Whether you know it or not, you have probably spoken today with one of the 25% of woman who lives in fear of violence in her own home. You may also have spoken with a perpetrator of such abuse. It’s widespread and cuts across social class, education, professional and financial status. Any neighbour or upstanding member of society might be violent behind closed doors!
Domestic violence is insidious, far too many families suffer in silence.
This should be the season of goodwill for all. Unfortunately, this is not the case, as many dread this housebound time of year.
How civilised a society are we really when such behaviour is so pervasive?
How on Earth did we arrive here where there’s no love, kindness and intimacy behind some closed doors?
