It is possible for adults who suffered from childhood maltreatment to reduce the impacts on their health and wellbeing
By Paul Bolger. Chartered Physiotherapist at Nano Physiotherapy, Kilkenny (www.nanophysio.ie).
Experiencing serious maltreatment in childhood increases our risk of developing health conditions later in life. However, a nourishing environment, loving carers and positive experiences help to counterbalance the effects of maltreatment, buffering people from many of the negative effects. You can find more information in my last few articles on the Kilkenny Observer’s website.
But what about those adults who were subjected to traumatic experiences during childhood, what is important to address in adulthood to reduce the impact of these experiences on health and wellbeing?
Before we dig into this, I want to emphasise the fact that I am a physiotherapist, not a psychologist, so I can only point towards some general advice and ideas. While I consulted with a clinical psychologist friend when researching this article, nothing beats individual treatment from a registered psychological practitioner. Ok, here we go.
Basic Needs
Just like children, it is important for adults to have many basic needs met. In relationships (with partners, friends, family, colleagues, etc) consistency, care and attunement (i.e. feeling seen, understood and accepted) are important – whether you are 3 or 83. If somebody missed out on this as a child, it is still possible to cultivate this in adulthood.
We don’t need these things from all our relationships, far from it, but it is important to feel like we get this from those who we are closest to in life.
Belonging to a Community
We humans tend to like to be a part of a group, to feel part of a community. This is often linked to our survival instincts – tens of thousands of years ago our ancestors wouldn’t have lasted long alone. It makes sense that we have an inbuilt drive to connect with others.
These days we find these communities everywhere – from local clubs and volunteer groups to online gaming communities and social media groups. If you feel like this is lacking in your life, it’s worth seeing what is available in your local community, considering activities that you might have enjoyed previously.
Trust & Communication
Issues with trust and problems communicating our needs and desires to others can impact our relationships and wellbeing. It’s not uncommon to see it in those who suffered from childhood maltreatment.
Developing healthier levels of trust and learning to communicate better can help people to improve the quality of their relationships, help them to integrate into a community and to help meet those basic needs of consistency, care and attunement (i.e. feeling seen, understood and accepted).
Making a Change
Psychological practitioners, especially those informed in trauma, can help people to work on all of the points raised here. As everyone is different, shaped by their own life experiences, it is best to seek individualised support and guidance from a psychologist.
Building healthy relationships in adulthood, belonging to a community, working in therapy on relationship issues, trust and communication are all worthwhile ways to improve our wellbeing, as well as our physical health as we grow older. It is never too early or too late to start.
Next week we will look at ways we can all improve the balance of our stress response.
As always, if any of the issues raised here give you cause for concern, do bring it up with your healthcare provider.
