FURTHERMORE
By Gerry Moran
Last week I wrote about my brother John who passed away on May 7. This week’s column is an edited version of John’s daughter Aideen’s beautiful eulogy which offers a more intimate portrait of my brother, a proud Kilkenny man, who many people, apart from classmates, cousins and neighbours, did not know.
“Dad suffered with dementia and it has been a tough few months for us all. For a man who was passionate about making memories, it is ironic and heart-breaking, that it was his memory that failed him in the end. Dad was in his 83rd year, originally from Kilkenny city, the eldest of five lovely people – himself, Frances, Mary, Eadie (RIP) and Ger (aka Mocky) and although he spent a staggering 59 of those years married to the lovely Ann, he remained a proud Kilkenny Cat and dragged us all to the hurling matches resplendent in his black and amber.
“Despite not excelling on the pitches John had a fierce protector – his sister Frances, closest to him in age. You messed with John, you messed with Frances and then God help you!
“John slipped quietly away with Frances, his brother Ger and his family, by his bedside. The last thing he said was “Thank you sir,” to one of his grandsons and those few words sum him up: gentle, understanding, empathetic, generous and acutely aware.
“Dad was never an athlete but what he lacked in sporting prowess he made up for with his brilliant mind. He was a master at chess, fascinated by history, devoured maths theories and adored English literature. He passed on his love of words to me, and I will be forever grateful for that.
“Dad was never happier than when by the side of his wife, Ann. They built a beautiful life together after meeting at a dance, marrying and moving to Raheny [Dublin] in 1968 where they raised their family, went for walks, socialised, chatted over the wall to their neighbours and I like to think they gave each other strength and support throughout their long life together.
“Family was everything to my Dad. Some of my best childhood memories involve the four of us playing football in Clontarf and eating ice-cream, not always at the same time but often. The good times come and they go but the memories last a lifetime and they were all captured through the lens of John’s camera leaving us with a beautiful legacy of a life well lived.
John loved having his grandchildren around him, playing with them and being able to express the fun and spontaneous side of his personality while singing about toothbrushes and hippos…long story! Grandad loved each and every one of his grandchildren fiercely. In his memory, I encourage you five to become the best versions of yourselves, to show kindness and generosity the way he showed it to you and to look out for each other, always.
“Dad was always a man of style and sartorial elegance.
“When I was in with him last, he was looking quite dapper in a black and white pin striped suit. I couldn’t decide if he should have been in The Godfather or Peaky Blinders but, either way, he doffed his cap at me with that mischievous glint in his eye that never left him and will never leave me.
“So Dad, to honour you, we will laugh and love with those who knew your smile, and the way your eyes twinkled with mischief. To honour you, we will take the time to appreciate everyone we love especially now that we know that there is no guarantee of days or hours spent in their presence. To honour you we will listen to music you liked and sing at the top of our lungs with the windows wide open. To honour you, we will take chances and say what we feel without fear.
“We will take a risk, dance every dance, eat the chocolate, buy the shoes, You were our light, our heart, our gift of love. So now, every day I live for us both, and all I do, I do to honour you. Sleep well Dad, I loved you until the end of your life and I will miss you until the end of mine.”
