FURTHERMORE
By Gerry Moran
I received the following ‘Ten Commandments for Seniors’ on my phone last week. Not sure I want to be receiving notifications like this but I guess ‘if the cap fits, wear it’. Also I’m not so sure they’re ‘commandments’ per se but, for what it’s worth, here they are:
- Talk to yourself. There are times you need expert advice.
- ‘In style’ are the clothes that still fit you.
- You don’t need anger management. You need people to stop p***ing you off.
- The biggest lie you tell yourself is: “I don’t need to write that down. I’ll remember it.”
- ‘On time’ is when you get there.
- Duct tape can’t fix stupid but it does muffle the sound.
- It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and two sizes smaller.
- Growing old should have taken longer.
- Ageing has slowed you down, but it hasn’t shut you up.
- You still haven’t learned to act your age – and hope you never will.
And one more: ‘One for the road’ means having a pee before you leave the house. Oh, and further to all of the above, another notification I received, an image of Clint Eastwood [pictured] on a T-shirt and emblazoned across it: “Don’t mess with old people. We didn’t get to this age by being stupid.” Good on ya, Clint, you head up the posse for us old people. Old people! Never. Us seniors.
Encore Grandpacore!
Re ‘Commandment’ No. 2 above that states: ‘In style’ are the clothes that fit you’. Not so. Not so at all. At all. At all. No, sir. No way. I am delighted to announce that the clothes we seniors wear are, if not the height of fashion, definitely fashionable. I know this because of a very interesting article I read in one of the dailies a week or so ago stating that when it comes to fashion, 2024 is apparently the year of the ‘eclectic grandfather’!
This fashion trend is called ‘grandpacore’ and yours truly, and many of my peers, are leading the way (mind you we didn’t know we were leading the way but apparently we are) It seems that many of the younger generation are raiding their grandfathers’ wardrobes. Fashion-wise we are top of the pops, so to speak. Top of the grand-pops, you could say.
Cardigans, scarves (got two for Christmas) and sensible slacks are in vogue now as are roomy trousers, belts (when did belts ever go out of fashion?) and braces if you’re brave and extravert enough to wear them.
I can’t believe this. Actually I can. And here’s why. I’m a hoarder, right? And it’s not at all unusual, especially at this time of year, de-cluttering time and all that, for my good wife to beckon me to our bedroom (oh not for any romantic malarkey, we’re 40 years married for God sake) open my wardrobe, remove a jacket or pants, and say: “Should it stay or should it go?” That’s not exactly what she might say – she’s not a Clash fan. Nor am I. She simply says: “Stay or go?” This is repeated a number of times with numerous items of my clothing and my reply, much to her annoyance, is almost always: “Stay.”
And I say ‘stay’ because, as I’ve already confessed, I’m a hoarder and because, as I’ve been telling my better half for years now, it may come back into fashion.
And now I am vindicated. Now those neutral-shades, roomy trousers (my wife calls them baggy) patterned cardigans, and that herring-bone tweed overcoat I’ve had, and have been protecting from culling, for years, are ‘all the go’ as they say.
Am I chuffed? Am I what? Did I ever think I’d be a ‘fashion icon’ in my senior years? Mmm! Okay, maybe not an icon but you know what? You never know what’s around the corner. Not least the Fashion Afficionadas’ corner.
Finally, a thought for the day, for the week, for the month, for the year – You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea. Otherwise you’d be a mug.
