FURTHERMORE
By Gerry Moran
Stress is a killer. We all know that. Folks who smoke 20 fags a day know full well that stress is the real killer, not nicotine. Men who drink six pints of porter every night know bloody well that stress is the killer, not alcohol. But seriously, we daren’t ignore nicotine and alcohol, two other major causes of premature deaths.
Regarding stress, I’m reading lately about a new form of stress: Tech-Stress brought on under the massive explosion in technology, the avalanche of apps and the advancement of AI in our lives. Although I am “digitally impaired” to quote one of my children I don’t unduly suffer from Tech-Stress. Well not much. If something goes wrong with my phone I simply call the wife (who’s far more tech-savvy than me). If she can’t solve it, I call my daughter in Lisbon and if she can’t solve it I call the phone every goddam name under the sun. Doesn’t solve anything but at least I let off steam which helps diffuse the Tech-Stress somewhat.
After that, if my phone issue is still not sorted I pop down to Michelle and Diane in Phone Server on High St who are always so obliging and resolve my issue. If it’s my PC I call John, equally obliging, who sorts me out and dissolves any stress.
In the meantime, a young lady was giving a seminar on ‘Stress Management’. She held up a glass of water in her hand. “How heavy is this glass of water?” she inquired. Answers varied. “The actual weight doesn’t matter”, she replied, “It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day I may need hospitalisation.
“In each case it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes. And that’s the way with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, the burdens become increasingly heavy, we won’t be able to carry on. As with the glass of water, we have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we’re refreshed, we can carry on with the burden. So, as early in the evening as you can, put your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night. Pick them up tomorrow.”
Following are a few tips to help lower your blood pressure and manage your stress:
*Accept the fact that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.
*Always keep your words soft and sweet, in case you have to eat them.
* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, otherwise you won’t have a leg to stand on .
* Since it’s the early worm that gets caught by the bird, sleep late.
* The second mouse gets the cheese/
* Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once!
Studying can be stressful. First-year students in a veterinary college were attending their first anatomy class involving a dead cow. The professor started by telling them: “In veterinary medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities: the first is that you should not be disgusted by anything involving the animal’s body.”
As an example, he stuck his finger in the butt of the cow, withdrew it, and stuck his finger in his mouth. “Go ahead and do the same thing,” he told his students. The students squirmed, hesitated but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead cow and sucking on it. When everyone finished, the professor looked at them and said: “The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger”.
Several of the students threw up. A few fainted.
