FURTHERMORE
By Gerry Moran
Forgive me if I tend to go on a bit about dementia. There are two reasons for this. One, my older brother John suffered with it for several years before passing away in 2025:Two, I’m understandably concerned that it may be genetic or hereditary, although anything I’ve read to date suggests that it’s not and I thank God for that.
In the meantime here’s something that arrived in my mail box from a gentleman called Steve who I do not know and who posted this ‘”n honour of someone you know or knew who has dementia. In honour of all those I know and love and lost who are fighting dementia/alzheimer’s’, and asks that it be shared to raise awareness of this cruel disease, called ‘The Long Goodbye’. Here is Steve’s post which fairly resonated with me:
“I don’t ever want to go into a nursing home but if worse comes to worse and I have no other choice then these will be my wishes, to be upheld and respected. If I ever get dementia I’d like my family to hang this wish list on the wall where I reside. I want them to remember these things: Every time you enter the room, announce yourself. ‘Hi, it’s me….Gerry, John, whoever, never ask: Do you know who I am, that causes anxiety.
“If I get dementia I want my friends and family to embrace my reality, including carers. If I think my dead friends are still alive, or if I think we’re visiting my parents for dinner let me believe those things. I’ll be much happier for it.
“If I get dementia don’t argue with me about what is true for me versus what is true for you. If I get dementia and I am not sure who you are, do not take it personally, my timeline is confusing to me If I get dementia and can no longer use utensils, do not start feeding me. Instead, switch me to a finger-food diet and see if I can still feed myself.
“If I get dementia and I am sad or anxious hold my hand and listen. Do not tell me that my feelings are unfounded. If I get dementia I do not want to be treated like a child. Talk to me like the adult that I am If I get dementia I still want to enjoy the things that |I always enjoyed. Help me find a way to exercise, read and visit with friends. If I get dementia ask me to tell you a story from my past.
“If I get dementia and I become agitated, take the time to figure out what’s bothering me. If I get dementia, treat me the way that you would want to be treated. If I get dementia make sure that there are plenty of snacks for me in the house as I may have trouble explaining what I need. If I get dementia don’t talk about me as if I’m not in the room. If I get dementia don’t feel guilty if you cannot care for me 24 hours a day, seven days a week. It’s not your fault and you’ve done your best. Find someone who can help you .
“If I get dementia and live in a Dementia Care Community, please visit me often. If I get dementia don’t get frustrated if I mix up names, events or places. Take a deep breath, it’s not my fault. If I get dementia make sure I always have my favourite music playing within earshot. If I get dementia and I like to pick up items and carry them around help me return those items to their original place. If I get dementia don’t exclude me from parties and family gatherings. If I get dementia know that I still like receiving hugs and plenty of laughing.
“If I get dementia remember that I am still the person you know and love.”
