THE FACT OF THE MATTER
BY PAUL HOPKINS
Most talk of having a ‘traditional’ Christmas, though for some it might mean one thing, and for someone else something else altogether. My wonderful daughter-law Genevieve way back on her maternal grandparents side comes from the Jewish tradition. She is non-practising, though does mark Hanukkah. But her inherited traditions do no stop her with my son Paul from celebrating Christmas in America as a ‘holiday’, with daughters Madeleine and Mariele. Although, most Americans of whatever persuasion will tell you Thanksgiving is a bigger day, traditional turkey the main dish, whereas Christmas you could end up with a pizza!
The word ‘tradition’ is solid and reassuring, as is turkey for Christmas dinner, vegans aside. We may want tradition to be mystical and ancient but it’s not necessarily so. Take the turkey. For decades now, serving the Big Bird on Christmas Day is as important a part of the festivities as the tree and the angel on top. And Santa Clause, of course!
It was Dickens’ A Christmas Carol which established the bird’s primacy. Before that, while turkey was popular, beef was far more so. The working classes had goose and the upper classes had more than one kind of meat. Then Dickens presented an ideal of the feast, while glossing over a significant problem. The poor Cratchits wouldn’t have had an oven in which to roast the gift that Scrooge had given them. Like the rest of the community, they would have relied upon the baker to roast their bird and by Christmas morning the baker would have shut up shop.
We should not see any of this as undermining our sense of tradition. Rather, as liberating. Because, if tradition is exactly what we say it is, then, like the bottle of Baileys or box of Roses, we can just invent our own.
Traditionally, Christmas is the time of year when people gather around each other and enjoy time with family and friends and eat, indeed overeat, good food and exchange gifts. The fortunate among us, that is. Let’s not forget not everyone looks forward to what is – let’s face it – an over-jollification of a day. There are nearly 14,000 people homeless in Ireland, of which some 4,000 are children. Perhaps, the ones that Santa Clause forgets. There are refugees sleeping in tents. There are those who simply cannot ‘afford’ Christmas, living on a paltry pension. There are those spending their first Christmas having lost a loved one. The Empty Chair we are all familiar with. There are the terror-struck children of Gaza and Syria and Lebanon; Ukraine and wars and rumours of war.
Let’s count our blessings while we can and celebrate Christmas as that time to be thankful for what we do have, whether that be family or friends or simply a roof over our head. For many there is no room at the inn. The older I get I realise how important these simple things are. And I am grateful for that and for the fact that my youngest son Louis and partner Jade – home from Brooklyn – will spend Christmas with me as will my daughter Niamh, husband Gary and little girls Faye and Abby. The mother of my children is pulling out all the (traditional) stops.
As I say, Christmas is a tradition for so many around the world. And traditions are important. Traditions help us feel connected to those where now stands that Empty Chair, whether it was one of Grandma’s secret recipes or an aunt’s silly game played on the day. Traditions can bring families and people together in meaningful ways, at no time better than Christmas.
Once, its tradition was that we actively celebrated the birth of a man born 2,000 years ago with prayers and songs, in church.
That said, Christmas should also be a time for reflection and for giving to those less fortunate.
Christmas may well be about family but, while many older people are still embedded in the heart of their family and community, others have become increasingly isolated. A sad indictment that, in an age when we are more connected than ever, so many feel socially marooned. One in every 10 on this island faces being alone over Christmas, according to Alone.
In the end, Christmas isn’t special because of what it was or where it came from. It’s special because of what it still is: a gathering where we will see the faces of loved ones – perhaps for the last Christmas – with whom to be of good cheer.
Nollaig shona dhaoibh…
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Paul Hopkins is the author of Affairs of the Heart (And Other Writings), new from Monument Media Press, €14.99, described as a collection of stories to warm the emotions and light the soul. The book is available at select bookstores and from monumentmediapress.com
