CHOICES SHAPE YOUR FUTURE
By Judith Ashton
When thinking about what to write this week I had many ideas about mental health ,social media, global and political troubles etc. and the list gets longer everyday… so I decided not to go there as I am heartily sick of being reminded of all that’s wrong . We know there are lots of problems out there and I heard a sad, wise person recently say, “There’s nothing like a catastrophe to make you think how you could have prevented it!” So, let’s be radical and look backwards to go forwards!
So, as the catastrophe list gets longer, let’s think of ways to start a revolution and not buy into all the doom. I’m talking here of small personal changes that can challenge so called norms that up to now have been socially acceptable. Do something different and make a difference! A small spark can start a fire…. Ireland banned smoking in pubs, got rid of free plastic bags and embraced same sex marriage. All so unthinkable at the time. Change is always possible and starts with small groups persevering and making themselves heard.
When change happens and becomes normalized and accepted, people wonder why it took so long.
What changes can you make before it’s too late? The geni may be out of the bottle re social media for example but, be radical…don’t waste precious time. Make an effort to unhook from screens. Recent research shows that exposure to screens for babies and toddlers damages brains development re language and motor skills, communication and interaction. All humans need interaction not passive screens. Babies learn from human engagement e.g. touch, sound etc.…Kids imitate behaviour and develop from who they are with not from what they watch.
Kids of 2 and 3 years are very curious. Teaching kids skills like playing, sharing, reading , and making things are investments in their future with long term dividends. We can create healthier future kids… more creativity, get outdoors and ditch processed food.
A new trend which I predict will become the norm is alcohol free stag parties and weddings. It has always been a given that young men would meet, get off their heads, forget what had happened say, “I feel awful but didn’t we have a great time?” This too is changing and stag parties are becoming more activity based… surfing, bowling, barbeques etc. where there are opportunities for bonding, interaction and creating deeper relationships. This is to be applauded and it is something that guys need to invest in too. Research shows that men historically have less deep friendships than women and are more lonely.
One of my many hats, is as a registered legal Humanist Wedding and funeral celebrant. How times have changed as these were always monopolized by the church!
As for weddings…they are often expensive and drink fueled. Let’s learn to consciously celebrate rather than wasting opportunities by passing out! I conducted a wedding recently which started at 2pm, there was zero alcohol, lots of lovely food, friends playing music, inter-generational activities, dancing and it finished about 10.30. Everyone had a fabulous memorable day… much laughter, loads of kids, no arguments, lots of fun. It was simply the best.
Another way to be radical is how you dress… what is your own individual sense of style? At weddings often I am struck by how similar the younger ladies look…there seems to be a norm that many conform too. Have you noticed it too?
It’s easy to look and do and be like someone else…. The most difficult thing it seems is to be yourself. All the influencers/motivators are shouting at people to be themselves, what they are actually doing is creating clones.
“Unto thine own self be true.” Is a famous line from Shakespeare’s Hamlet. What’s it actually mean? It’s about learning to live with integrity, honesty, and authentically aligning your words and actions with genuine moral values and beliefs rather than compromising for others. It suggests deep self awareness and sticking to one’s core principles. I’ve worked with the dying, and many regret not being true to themselves. Don’t leave it too late!
Living with radical awareness is not easy in today’s world. Historically lies were told that future generations then realized were not true. Slavery, smoking, alcohol, ultra processed food, screens etc. were all OK for years, until there weren’t. Embody radical change in whatever small way you can and take a listen to Bob Dylan, Blowing In The Wind.
