AS I SEE IT
BY MARIANNE HERON
We live in uncertain times. Imagine if President Trump gave Ireland the same treatment he applied to Venezuela — sending in planes, helicopters, and agents to whisk Micheál Martin and Simon Harris away in their PJs to stand trial for activities which are not in America’s interest, like encouraging US firms to base here.
There are many things to cause concern in this age of uncertainty over which we have no control. Better by far to concentrate on the things we can influence that will make a difference to our lives. And there are some that needn’t cost a cent, will boost health, and that feel-good factor. Where to start?
The way you use your brain power can make an amazing difference to well-being. Having a positive attitude has a transformative effect. It’s not so much what actually happens in life as the way that you perceive it that counts. It has been found that being optimistic has a protective effect against illness; it also makes problem-solving easier and you will have, and be, more fun.
According to a US study of nuns in the Sisters of Notre Dame congregation, those with a glass-half-full take on life lived, on average, over seven years longer than those with negative attitudes. When you catch yourself taking a gloomy view, begin by practising with smaller snags, thinking about them differently and reframing the situation.
Like optimism — the realistic kind — people power is a tonic. It reduces stress and boosts mood; its opposite, isolation, can be as bad for you as smoking. So much time is spent on screens or texting these days that honest-to-goodness face-to-face social contact is lost. Making time to meet friends or joining in socially occasionally can have an immediate benefit — combining this with a walk with a friend in calming nature is even better.
Social relationships are one thing, but what about your relationship with yourself? Funny thing about our culture: we focus on things that we get wrong. This shows up in self-talk; how often do you tell yourself you made a stupid mistake (it was a learning experience!), or you had a senior moment (everyone forgets things)? If anyone else told you that you were stupid or old, you would soon put them right, so no need to put yourself down.
Taking on a challenge and succeeding is another boost. Putting off tasks that you don’t want to do actually uses up more energy than getting them done. Avoiding minor difficulties — in my case, usually to do with technology — is another energy-consuming niggle. Just give it a try, succeed and you’ll feel better; if you don’t, it will work out next time. It doesn’t have to be something big: a new recipe, something that needs fixing, or even having a sort-out, a drawer or a cupboard at a time, will do the trick.
Another P is purpose or meaning, which answers questions like: what are you doing here, and what is your reason for getting up in the morning? US psychologist Martin Seligman, known as the Father of Positive Psychology, defines meaningful happiness as one where we find a fulfilling sense of purpose by employing our unique strengths for a purpose greater than ourselves. It’s a theory which isn’t just about individualistic pursuit of happiness, but about using your gifts to benefit others, where happiness is a by-product of the things that you do. Investing what you do with meaning is a helpful tonic.
The start of a new year is a favourite time for making resolutions, but many are negative and non-specific. Going on a diet is typical; the moment you tell yourself you are giving up sweets or bread, these will occupy your mind like the proverbial elephant in the room. I prefer a positive approach: say, the appeal of eating a rainbow, with lots of colourful fruit and vegetables, olive oil, and fish, as in a Mediterranean diet. If you need a plan to lose two inches round your waist before a holiday, writing down the plan with steps makes it much more likely to succeed.
No need to try everything at once; persist with one idea until you feel the benefit and then try another. These boosts put a new meaning on minding yourself!”
