FURTHERMORE
By Gerry Moran
Came upon the following on Facebook recently. Found it interesting. Very interesting. So interesting I thought that I might share it with you. Make of it what you will but there’s some good, very good, advice contained in it (at least I think so)
1. Don’t always speak your mind in front of others. Don’t use your forwardness as an excuse. It’s not about being blunt but avoiding hurtful words; even when giving advice consider if the other person is open to it. If you feel that your opinion carries little weight it’s better to stay quiet and avoid being seen as meddling.
2. Don’t engage in gossip behind people’s backs; spreading rumours can quickly spiral out of control. Whether someone is good or bad is not your concern. Reflect on your thoughts and refrain from discussing the shortcomings of others. And remember if people gossip about others to you, they may well gossip about you to others.
3. Avoid uttering hurtful words during arguments. When you are angry it’s easy to say things you don’t mean. Exercise self-control because impulsive words can harm both others and yourself leaving a lasting scar. Your dispute could possibly have been resolved with minimal impact but a single, thoughtless remark can unnecessarily escalate the situation.
4. Safeguard confidential matters, avoid revealing your secrets, weaknesses and flaws. People may be aware of your surface but not your inner self. The more individuals who are privy to your secrets the more vulnerable you become. If one day you have a falling out with someone your secrets are no longer secure providing them with an opportunity to inflict more pain.
5. Refrain from excessive complaining. Complaining doesn’t provide solutions it merely portrays you as incapable. In challenging times it’s important to demonstrate strength, this will make others more willing to support you and you will find it easier to overcome obstacles.
So, there you have it, good advice, sound advice as I wrote at the top BUT – maybe a bit too sound, too careful, too cautious, dare I say too cute. Damn it we all need to let our defences down now and again. We all need to share secrets, reveal our weaknesses, discuss our problems. How else are we going to find a shoulder to cry on – and goddam it we all need a shoulder to cry on at times unless, of course, you’re superman or superwoman, a tower of strength and capable of handling everything on your own.
Fair dues to you if you can but that seems like a lonely, a very lonely, and dangerous, place to inhabit – but that’s just my opinion.
Moving moments!
And so to something entirely different as they say. Three elderly, very elderly, gentlemen (and let’s call them Tom, Dick and Harry for convenience sake) are sipping, and savouring, their pints of stout on their regular Tuesday night out in their local when Tom (a retired teacher) says to Dick (a retired solicitor): “Dick what you like people to say about you when they look at you lying there in the coffin?”
Dick says:”‘Good God, Tom but that’s a very morbid question.”
“Be that as it may, Dick, whether we like it or not we’re in the ‘waiting room’ as they say.’ “
“Okay, okay. I’d like people to say that he was a decent man, an upright man, a good-living man who got a lot of justice for a lot of people. And yourself, Tom, what would you like people to say about you?”
“Like yourself, Dick, I’d like for people to say that I too was a decent and good-living man who gave his students, or most of them, or as many as I could, a love for the subjects I taught and that I helped guide them to fulfilling careers.”
“What about yourself, Harry’, Tom and Dick, asked in unison. Harry (a retired publican) who had been listening attentively to Tom’s and Dick’s answers, replied: “Like yourselves I’d like people to say good things, nice things about me but the words I’d dearly love to hear would be someone, anyone, saying: ‘Jaysus, lads he’s moving’.”
