AS I SEE IT
BY MARIANNE HERON
After soldier Cathal Crotty walked free last month with a suspended sentence for a vicious unprovoked attack on a young woman, (The DPP has launched an appeal). I felt angry and despairing. How after all these years since the slow dawn of equality for women can this kind of gender-based brutality still be happening and not receive appropriate sentencing? Crotty is not alone. There are thousands of men engagee in gender-based abuse.
Last year the Gardai fielded more than 54,000 domestic abuse complaints, an 8% increase over the previous year. Women’s Aid refuges had more than 40,000 disclosures of abuse, an 18% increase over 2022. The Dublin Rape Crisis Centre (DRCC) received more than18,600 contacts in 2023, the highest-ever level recorded in the service’s 45-year history.
After Crotty’s brutal assault he now faces Defence Force disciplinary proceedings, at which he might lose his job but a naval officer who pleaded guilty last year to an assault in which his former girlfriend lost an eye is still serving in the forces.
What can be done with these men and thousands like them? Damaged partners and children may leave, or seek refuge with Women’s Aid but what happens to their abusers? Will they continue to abuse, lose their families and maybe their jobs or go on to abuse women and children in other relationships?
The underlying reasons for men’s abusive behaviour include poor self-esteem, anti-social personality, rigid attitudes to gender roles, family histories of violence, drug or alcohol abuse, or depression. Without intervention or social consequences such abuse may continue and worsen, sometimes with fatal consequences.
One organisation which offers hope to end the vicious cycle is Men Ending Domestic Abuse (Mend), a service set up by Men’s Development Network (MDN) to support men in changing aspects of their behaviour which are violent or abusive.
Part of the explanation lies in the way that boys are still socialised differently from girls, according to John Doyle, Director of Services at MDN. “We still socialise men to be resilient. Society doesn’t equip them well enough to deal with emotional conflict.
“Women are more inclined to reach out for support whereas men may bottle things up and take out their frustration on those closest to them. Perceived inequality may play a part too,” he says. “Even though things have changed the sexes are not fully equal. Men tend to have more power and this can suggest that women are less important.”
The Mend service offers a three- stage behaviour change programme for men, with assessment, one on one sessions and followed up by 25 group meetings. The aim of the programme is to increase the safety of women and children with an independent integrated support programme for partners and to increase men’s capacity to behave in a respectful, non-violent way.
“It can also help lessen men’s depression, anxiety or suicidal ideation,” says John Doyle. “And yes, the results can be positive, especially when men are invested in attending the programme, which their partners often want them to do.”
Referrals to Mend are mainly through the probation service, through Tusla or self-referral and to a lesser extent from GPs, family or the HSE. The approach is collaborative and works with the individual’s strengths and sections of the programme cover sexual respect, gender, trust and support, parenting and emotional intimacy.
Not all referrals may be suitable for the programme, some may be need to be referred on for drink and drug addiction. Currently there are six programmes running in the South East with a further one planned. To my mind, the service should be funded nation-wide.
The increase in gender-based violence looks worrying but it may be due to more women coming forward in an area where there has been underreporting. The issue has been more high profile recently with news stories including the brutal murder of 23-year-old school teacher Ashling Murphy in Tullamore, Co Offaly in January 2022 by Josef Puska and the case of former Garda Paul Moody who subjected his terminally ill partner to a litany of coercive control.
But there is the societal sea where toxic attitudes to women still swim. I hope that gender-based violence will diminish but that hope will continue to be in vain so long as individuals within the institutions of the State harbour misogyny and where intervention to mend the men involved in violence doesn’t happen.
