AS I SEE IT
BY MARIANNE HERON
The contradictory statements during Nikita Hand’s civil case against Conor McGregor brought to light the differences that can sometimes exist between men and women around sexual activity. During the trial Ms Hand claimed that she had said she didn’t want to have sex, whereas Mr McGregor claims that their encounter was consensual.
The bottom line here, as it was in the shocking case in France of Gisele Pelicot whose husband Dominique drugged her to sleep and recruited men to rape her as she lay unconscious in their marital bed, is about consent. To encourage us to have that conversation about consent – which applies equally to men – the Government have been running advertisements for several months. Hopefully the campaign will help change attitudes where needed.
In the week before the jury in the McGregor trial reached their verdict, Women’s Aid published the result of research into attitudes to masculinity among men and women. Some of the results don’t bode well for relations between the sexes, especially when it comes to many younger men where there has been a swing back to traditional, more macho attitudes on issues such as dominance and sex.
The research found that two out of five men are reverting to what they term traditionalist views on masculinity and women’s place as subordinate. Over half of these traditionalists – and they were predominantly young men – agreed with the statement that a man’s worth is measured by his power and control over others, in other words ‘dominance rules OK’.
The findings based on a survey of 500 men and 500 women entitled Evolving Manhood: Attitudes Influence And Well-Being Among Irish Men, was released to mark Women’s Aid’s half century in operation. Some of the attitudes suggest that younger men in particular are evolving back to the past where they agreed with views that they should use violence if necessary, never say no to sex, they should figure out problems on their own and they should be the ones to bring home the money.
These are more like the kind of views that were around when there was a marriage bar in the civil service, no unmarried mother’s allowance, Magdalene laundries were still in existence (the last one closed in 1996,) and Women’s Aid for victims of domestic violence didn’t exist.
The Men’s Development Network carried out a survey on men’s attitudes in 2022. “We found the same thing where traditional views were skewed to the young side of the study,” says Dr Kenny Doyle, Programme Director.
Usually the reverse is true where older men hold more conservative ideas, with views narrowing as waistlines thicken.
Where are these macho views coming from? It’s not what women want judging by the way respondents in the Women’s Aid didn’t agree with them which doesn’t not bode well for men or for relations between the sexes.
“These surveys are a snapshot of views at a moment in time,” says Dr Doyle. They don’t explain what is causing them, but he points out, there are lots of influences like controversial male supremacist Andrew Tate, pushing a regressive view of the need for men to be in control and a return to stoicism. If things are bottled up, points out Dr Doyle, “then, when it comes to the trials of life, men have no way to deal with them”.
Speaking on Newstalk, Women’s Aid CEO Sarah Benson said that online exposure to misogynistic content such as pornography or certain influencers may affect these attitudes. “Men are being dragged down this rabbit hole that suggests young men should feel alienated and that their masculinity is under threat,” she said. The shift in young men towards traditionalist views such as policing women’s bodies could have consequences for women, warned Ms Benson. “We have a horrible legacy in this country of this, and we certainly don’t want to go back to that space.”
The political swing to the right and the example of leaders like Trump and Putin may also be influences but attitudes can change and there are moves to help them change. The Anti-Bullying Centre at Dublin City University ( DCU) have a guide for parents and teachers on the impact of online masculinity influencers on teenage boys. The Men’s Development Network also run courses for men and for teachers.
Having men around who stand as respected examples of what masculinity is will certainly help too.
