FURTHERMORE
By Gerry Moran
Let’s start with the little old lady in Dunnes Stores car park who politely asked if I could spare 20 cents to release a trolley. “But trolleys require a euro,” I said. “Twenty cents works,” she informed me. She was right. What’s this they say – you learn something new every day. And then – a thought. Maybe this old lady spends her days in the car park asking for 20 cent coins. I mean who’s going to refuse a little old lady 20 cents? On a good day she could clear a couple of euro, five days a week she might make €10. Isn’t it awful to have a suspicious mind?
Then there was my visit to a pharmacy. I popped in to purchase a cosmetic item for my wife which she is fond of. As I go to pay the sales assistant quietly informs me that the item will be on offer next week; a gesture that I appreciated and reciprocated with a wee box of chocolates hoping that she wasn’t counting calories.
Regarding sales assistants I spotted a book, Wisdom For Modern Times’ in the window of the Cancer Research shop in Parliament Street. I went in with a view to buying it but was informed that items in the window go on sale Thursday morning at 10 am. “Could I look at the book?”
“No.” NO! I was taken aback by the curt reply as if looking at the book was going to effect the Thursday morning scenario. This salesperson badly needed a shot of wisdom because for sure she lost this customer who supports Cancer Research as my sister, Eadie, succumbed to cancer aged 45.
And then there was the episode in the Castle Park where I take my daily constitutional. It’s October and, as I am walking around, there’s a man, maybe mid-30s, washing himself in the fountain! A new one for sure. There he was, bare-chested, scrubbing himself vigorously – his armpits, his chest oblivious to those around him! Wonder will it catch on?
And what about this: “You’re receiving this email because we know that you are a passionate Trump supporter who believes in his leadership. Our team has been hard at work creating something we know you’ll love – a full coloured, gold foil Trump $2 bill. The collectible was inspired by the desire from patriots like you who want to see Trump make America great again. One bill, $34.99 plus $5.99 shipping. Buy two, get one free, $69.98. Buy three get three free, $104.99. And so my friends received a $2 Trump bill in their Christmas cards! Like hell they did! I can be silly at times but not that silly.
Now it’s not often that Tipperary people bring joy to Kilkenny but that’s exactly what happened during Yulefest. A group called Uproar Rock Chorus Choir, from Clonmel, gave it socks in the tent on the Parade. They were brilliant. Thank you folks and come back soon.
In September my wife tripped on the Parade and immediately two young girls rushed to her rescue. Not that she needed much rescuing, but still. I myself dropped a bag of shopping in a supermarket car park and a young girl immediately came to my assistance. It’s good to know that kindness and caring are very much alive with our youth.
For Father’s Day my son sent me a Father’s Day card and some family photos from Wales. They never arrived. Why? Because they were refused by Irish Customs! The following notice was stamped on my son’s returned envelope: ‘Your item has been returned to Royal Mail by the destination country’s custom authority (ie. Ireland) as being non-compliant to customs regulations. Items exported from the UK require a fully completed customs declaration’ which my son did as he showed me the properly completed declaration on the returned envelope, ‘Father’s Day card plus photos’ when I visited him in December. I blame Brexit for this nonsense but also the idiot in Irish Customs; maybe the wife left him, taking the kids with her depriving him of a Father’s Day celebration! Isn’t it awful to have a suspicious mind?
Finally, I wish you all a happy, healthy and fulfilling 2025
