THE FACT OF THE MATTER
BY PAUL HOPKINS
It’s only the one life and we should make the most of it and surround ourselves with what’s good and wholesome. For very many that’s not likely, or even possible – just look to Gaza or Yemen or South Sudan. However, no matter how we might agree with such sentiment, there are times in everyone’s life when they feel lonely or isolated, emotionally cut off from those around them.
Loneliness is not the same as being alone, of social isolation. We can be isolated – alone – yet not feel lonely; can be surrounded by others, yet feel lonely. This distinction is often overlooked by policy makers and researchers.
New research from the Irish Longitudinal Study on Ageing (TILDA) at Trinity highlights the growing problem of death ideation and the increasing rates of both loneliness and suicidal thoughts among older people.
The study, published in the peer-reviewed journal Frontiers In Public Health, explores the critical issue of social disconnection and its link to a ‘wish to die’ among older adults. The ‘Wish to Die’ (WTD) involves thoughts of – or wishes for – one’s own death, or that one would be better off dead. It is a commonly used indicator to capture death ideation which is an important clinical marker for future suicidal behaviour.
Social disconnection and deaths by suicide among older adults are both important public health concerns, particularly in the context of ageing populations.
Building on previous research by TILDA, the study – based on responses from 8,000 community-dwelling adults – demonstrates that the subjective feeling of loneliness is more strongly associated with death ideation than other measures of social disconnection, including social isolation or living alone. The association between WTD and loneliness remains strong even after ‘controlling’ depression and other aspects of social disconnection.
I am blessed. I live, effectively, alone. But I never feel alone or lonely. Blessed, indeed. Funnily enough, before my Editor asked me to write about this latest Trinity College research, my only daughter (my best friend) sent me a copy of the research findings with the appendage: “Dad, do you ever feel lonely or bored?”
I texted: “No, thank God. Once I have my writing and my radio and my music. And I do go out and socialise with friends aged 30 to 70.”
She said: “I know. Love you. See you Friday for dinner.”
Dr Mark Ward, Senior Research Fellow at TILDA and lead author of the (Trinity) paper, says: “Both loneliness and suicide among older adults have been increasing and are now viewed as critical public health concerns. This study from TILDA clearly shows that loneliness in later life is associated with an increased risk of individuals wishing for their own death.”
A sad conjecture.
Loneliness can be “as corrosive as any cancer,” says Irish journalist and counsellor Anne Dempsey, author of The Retirement Handbook.
Loneliness and being alone, I would argue, has a direct correlation with the State’s erosion of local communities and community infrastructure. The rural post office, the bank, the corner shop, the fair and the livestock mart were once all part of the fabric of society, contributing socially, as well as commercially, to people coming together.
Increasingly now people find themselves more and more alone. And the coming darker days, and the weather increasingly less clement – Indian summer aside – can only add to a brooding sense of being cut-off, of being adrift from kith and kin.
You should get out more often, get more involved, is something you’ll often hear the younger among us say to us older people. However, for some, combating loneliness or avoiding being alone is not a simple matter of going out and joining a club. Often, what has caused a withdrawal from society has deeper roots, including fears, shyness and lack of confidence. Anne Dempsey says addressing these roots is the first step to breaking barriers down.
“This is where you and I come in. Society as a whole has a part to play in combating loneliness. Those of us with an older neighbour, friend or relative living alone could take time to phone or visit,” she says.
A regular visit, for just half-an-hour, could make a wealth of difference in helping someone feel wanted and cared about. It is, to reiterate, only the one life, and part and parcel of all our lives should be to show care and compassion for others.
For many, a knock on the door can be the most welcome sound of their day. Indeed, maybe the only welcoming sound in their solitary lives…
